For the first time in its storied history, the DeAnd'Rankings - the internet's definitive ranking of the NBA's four players named DeAndre (or some variation thereof) - spans across calendars and into a new decade. What a truly remarkable time for the Committee, the NBA, the reader(s), and the Rankings themselves. No one could have predicted the unprecedented levels of success this website has achieved, and with a new year upon us, the legend should only grow from here.
As always, we start with a brief Q&A.
Q1: Still doing this, huh?
Yes. Next question.
Q2: The NFL has a bunch of guys named DeVante (or Devante, De'Vante, Davante, Davontae, Devontae, and Devonta). Are you going to start doing this for them as well?
First of all, oh my god. That's wonderful. Second-of-ly, I don't follow the NFL closely enough to do that. Third, the season is ending, so that iron is no longer hot and I shall therefore not be striking it right now.
Q3: Is this a scientific argument?
Of course. Each member of the Committee has at least one college degree in the sciences and has studied the intricacies of ranking players who all share a name at-length.
Q4: Are you still working in dumb references to old pop-culture and not really alluding to them?
Yep. But not in this answer.
Q5: Ready?
(Nicolas Cage finger-motion from "Gone in 60 Seconds") Ready.
THE FIFTH DEAND'RANKINGS: THROUGH JANUARY 2, 2020
4. DeAndre' Bembry
The race for the bottom spot this week was particularly harsh, but DeAndre' Bembry was just slightly lower in the eyes of the Committee. The problem is simple: the Atlanta Hawks are an affront to basketball. Bembry is a minor role-player for one of the worst teams of the last 10 years, so he's guilty by association, even if he may not be that bad.
He played in all three Hawks games this weeks and managed a combined 18/8/2 line with four steals and five turnovers. He just doesn't get a lot done out there. He's fine. But when there are three other guys who share your name and they're all doing more things that contribute to competitive basketball, you get lost in the shuffle.
Bembry could theoretically become a defensive sub for a decent team, as he's not a terrible defender, but he could also see his time in the NBA end earlier than the other guys on this list.
Last week's rank: 3
3. Deandre Ayton
He's back! Kind of. The entirety of the Committee expected this list to be dominated by Deandre Ayton within five games of his return from suspension. Instead, the giant Bahamian hurt his ankle in his first game back and missed the next five. He can't go higher on this list yet because he only played in 2 of Phoenix's 4 games this week, and you just have to play basketball to get a nice spot in the DeAnd'rankings. That's just the bylaws.
In those two games, Ayton came off the bench, compiling a total of 22 points and 26 rebounds as the Suns split the two games (a win vs. Portland and loss to the Lakers). This is progress. You have to wonder how long Ayton's body will hold up, considering he appears to be 48 years old.
Last week's rank: 4
2. De'Andre Hunter
De'Andre Hunter is turning in a sneaky-nice rookie campaign. He won't get any big-picture love because, as I mentioned above, the Hawks are abysmal. They're just...woof. But Hunter is a rookie who isn't afraid to stretch the floor and can do that effectively from time to time. He's not setting the world on fire, but he can go 3-6 from deep in a game and help the Hawks hold off the powerhouse that is the Orlando Magic.
Yikes. Low bar for DeAndres this season.
Last week's rank: 2
1. DeAndre Jordan
The Committee would like to extend further congratulations to the current runaway leader, DeAndre Jordan. To say we were wrong about DJ at the start of the season is probably not fair, because the Committee didn't publicly comment about his value as a player. However, it seemed odd to sign him when Jarrett Allen was there and talented.
DeAndre Jordan has been a delight off the bench. He grabbed double-digit rebounds in each Nets game this week, was a +6 and a +14 in consecutive losses, and swatted three shots in one of those games. He'll never again be the nightmare-inducing rim-runner he was in the Lob City days, but a guy who can come in and swallow up every possible rebound while blocking shots here and there is a really useful piece for almost any semi-competitive team.
Low bar for DeAndres this season.
But someone has to clear it, and it's DeAndre Jordan, for a (checking notes) NEW RECORD: 5TH STRAIGHT TIME ATOP THE LEADERBOARD!!
Last week's rank: 1
CURRENT SEASON STANDINGS AFTER VOLUME V
4. Deandre Ayton: 7 points
3. DeAndre' Bembry: 8 points
2. De'Andre Hunter: 15 points
1. DeAndre Jordan: 20 points
As always, we start with a brief Q&A.
Q1: Still doing this, huh?
Yes. Next question.
Q2: The NFL has a bunch of guys named DeVante (or Devante, De'Vante, Davante, Davontae, Devontae, and Devonta). Are you going to start doing this for them as well?
First of all, oh my god. That's wonderful. Second-of-ly, I don't follow the NFL closely enough to do that. Third, the season is ending, so that iron is no longer hot and I shall therefore not be striking it right now.
Q3: Is this a scientific argument?
Of course. Each member of the Committee has at least one college degree in the sciences and has studied the intricacies of ranking players who all share a name at-length.
Q4: Are you still working in dumb references to old pop-culture and not really alluding to them?
Yep. But not in this answer.
Q5: Ready?
(Nicolas Cage finger-motion from "Gone in 60 Seconds") Ready.
THE FIFTH DEAND'RANKINGS: THROUGH JANUARY 2, 2020
4. DeAndre' Bembry
The race for the bottom spot this week was particularly harsh, but DeAndre' Bembry was just slightly lower in the eyes of the Committee. The problem is simple: the Atlanta Hawks are an affront to basketball. Bembry is a minor role-player for one of the worst teams of the last 10 years, so he's guilty by association, even if he may not be that bad.
He played in all three Hawks games this weeks and managed a combined 18/8/2 line with four steals and five turnovers. He just doesn't get a lot done out there. He's fine. But when there are three other guys who share your name and they're all doing more things that contribute to competitive basketball, you get lost in the shuffle.
Bembry could theoretically become a defensive sub for a decent team, as he's not a terrible defender, but he could also see his time in the NBA end earlier than the other guys on this list.
Last week's rank: 3
3. Deandre Ayton
He's back! Kind of. The entirety of the Committee expected this list to be dominated by Deandre Ayton within five games of his return from suspension. Instead, the giant Bahamian hurt his ankle in his first game back and missed the next five. He can't go higher on this list yet because he only played in 2 of Phoenix's 4 games this week, and you just have to play basketball to get a nice spot in the DeAnd'rankings. That's just the bylaws.
In those two games, Ayton came off the bench, compiling a total of 22 points and 26 rebounds as the Suns split the two games (a win vs. Portland and loss to the Lakers). This is progress. You have to wonder how long Ayton's body will hold up, considering he appears to be 48 years old.
Last week's rank: 4
2. De'Andre Hunter
De'Andre Hunter is turning in a sneaky-nice rookie campaign. He won't get any big-picture love because, as I mentioned above, the Hawks are abysmal. They're just...woof. But Hunter is a rookie who isn't afraid to stretch the floor and can do that effectively from time to time. He's not setting the world on fire, but he can go 3-6 from deep in a game and help the Hawks hold off the powerhouse that is the Orlando Magic.
Yikes. Low bar for DeAndres this season.
Last week's rank: 2
1. DeAndre Jordan
The Committee would like to extend further congratulations to the current runaway leader, DeAndre Jordan. To say we were wrong about DJ at the start of the season is probably not fair, because the Committee didn't publicly comment about his value as a player. However, it seemed odd to sign him when Jarrett Allen was there and talented.
DeAndre Jordan has been a delight off the bench. He grabbed double-digit rebounds in each Nets game this week, was a +6 and a +14 in consecutive losses, and swatted three shots in one of those games. He'll never again be the nightmare-inducing rim-runner he was in the Lob City days, but a guy who can come in and swallow up every possible rebound while blocking shots here and there is a really useful piece for almost any semi-competitive team.
Low bar for DeAndres this season.
But someone has to clear it, and it's DeAndre Jordan, for a (checking notes) NEW RECORD: 5TH STRAIGHT TIME ATOP THE LEADERBOARD!!
Last week's rank: 1
CURRENT SEASON STANDINGS AFTER VOLUME V
4. Deandre Ayton: 7 points
3. DeAndre' Bembry: 8 points
2. De'Andre Hunter: 15 points
1. DeAndre Jordan: 20 points
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