Ohh baby, we are back and arguably (but not provably) better than ever. This, if you're new here, is the DeAnd'Rankings, where we rank the NBA's four players named DeAndre (or something like it) on a week-to-week basis, determining who is the best with that name. It's about as scientific as making a PBJ: It depends on who's in charge. Here, it's us, affectionately known as The Committee.
As usual, we like to address a few questions before the rankings begin.
Q1: Why are you still doing this?
Because this is the NBA season and I love basketball and this is a weird anomaly of names and I don't have to explain myself. You're the weirdo here, not me.
Q2: Is it true that if you were able to reach the event horizon of a black hole, something might appear to hover at the edge forever because the gravitational pull both inside and outside would leave some semblance of light at the edge - unable to escape either grasp?
Seems like it, yeah. But I don't know for sure as I've never seen one - except for Larry Hughes when he'd get the ball for the 06-08 Cavs.
Q3: Is it possible that one of the DeAndres actually reads this and thinks it's the dumbest idea on the entire internet?
Yes. Undoubtedly.
Q4: How come you don't do something like the Miguel Ratings for the at-least-4 MLB players named Miguel?
Because basketball is poetry in motion.
Q5: Ready?
Ready.
THE FOURTH DEAND'RANKINGS: THROUGH DECEMBER 26, 2019
4. Deandre Ayton
Who saw this coming? Ayton returned from his 25-game suspension over a week ago and promptly had a slight ankle injury that has now kept him out all week. Who is this guy? Does he like basketball? Is he actually 41 years old? Is he good at this game? Does he want to get healthy? The numbers on the next guy will probably tell more of the story of how lost Ayton's season has been thus far, but woof.
Last week's rank: 3
3. DeAndre' Bembry
DeAndre' Bembry played 40 total minutes this week. He shot 3-11 from the field, scored 9 points, and the Hawks were outscored by 28 points in those 40 minutes. And yet he still finishes ahead of Deandre Ayton because at least he's playing basketball in the NBA.
What a weird twist for the rankings now that Ayton's suspension is over. Bembry is stuck as a rotation player for the god-awful Hawks, so it's possible that he wouldn't get run on almost any other NBA team, but that's not up to him to decide. It's up to him to play basketball when given the chance. For the most part, he's doing that. Bembry has accepted his weakness and didn't attempt a 3 in five of their last six games, but he's only shooting 23% on the season, so...whatcha gonna do? He can't stretch the floor, which is a necessity, and it's also a big part of what limits him from moving up this list.
Last week's rank: 4
2. De'Andre Hunter
De'Andre Hunter is a solid player. Scoring isn't everything, but he can score a few points here and there, which makes him more valuable than his teammate above. He dropped 23 in a close loss to the Cavs (yikes), and he's not afraid to shoot the ball - he's hitting just over 33% from deep. It's a little tough to tell which is the anomaly though, as Hunter shot 39% on threes in their first 16 games and is 29% over the last 14. If he returns to form - and that's a big if at this point - he could find himself near the top of the rankings for the entire season.
Who could've predicted that??
I'll tell you - the DeAnd'Rankins are a fickle beast. The Committee has a lot on their plates.
Last week's rank: 2
1. DeAndre Jordan
Never in a million years did the Committee expect to see DeAndre Jordan topping the rankings for the fourth consecutive week. Truly, this is as unexpected as waking up with your hair sewn to the carpet.
But he deserves it! DJ turned back the clock with a 12 point, 20 rebound, 6 assist performance against the other DeAndres in Atlanta on Monday. That wasn't a typo - 12 points and 20 rebounds. He was a +12 in a game that the Nets won by 10. He may not be living up to the near-max contract that he turned down a few years ago, but DeAndre Jordan is having a terrific little season. And I'm sure the contract-losses will be more than made up for when the Nets give him a multi-million dollar bonus for winning the DeAnd'Rankings - something he'll do if he keeps this up.
Last week's rank: 1
CURRENT SEASON STANDINGS AFTER VOLUME IV
4. Deandre Ayton: 5 points
3. DeAndre' Bembry: 7 points
2. De'Andre Hunter: 12 points
1. DeAndre Jordan: 16 points
As usual, we like to address a few questions before the rankings begin.
Q1: Why are you still doing this?
Because this is the NBA season and I love basketball and this is a weird anomaly of names and I don't have to explain myself. You're the weirdo here, not me.
Q2: Is it true that if you were able to reach the event horizon of a black hole, something might appear to hover at the edge forever because the gravitational pull both inside and outside would leave some semblance of light at the edge - unable to escape either grasp?
Seems like it, yeah. But I don't know for sure as I've never seen one - except for Larry Hughes when he'd get the ball for the 06-08 Cavs.
Q3: Is it possible that one of the DeAndres actually reads this and thinks it's the dumbest idea on the entire internet?
Yes. Undoubtedly.
Q4: How come you don't do something like the Miguel Ratings for the at-least-4 MLB players named Miguel?
Because basketball is poetry in motion.
Q5: Ready?
Ready.
THE FOURTH DEAND'RANKINGS: THROUGH DECEMBER 26, 2019
4. Deandre Ayton
Who saw this coming? Ayton returned from his 25-game suspension over a week ago and promptly had a slight ankle injury that has now kept him out all week. Who is this guy? Does he like basketball? Is he actually 41 years old? Is he good at this game? Does he want to get healthy? The numbers on the next guy will probably tell more of the story of how lost Ayton's season has been thus far, but woof.
Last week's rank: 3
3. DeAndre' Bembry
DeAndre' Bembry played 40 total minutes this week. He shot 3-11 from the field, scored 9 points, and the Hawks were outscored by 28 points in those 40 minutes. And yet he still finishes ahead of Deandre Ayton because at least he's playing basketball in the NBA.
What a weird twist for the rankings now that Ayton's suspension is over. Bembry is stuck as a rotation player for the god-awful Hawks, so it's possible that he wouldn't get run on almost any other NBA team, but that's not up to him to decide. It's up to him to play basketball when given the chance. For the most part, he's doing that. Bembry has accepted his weakness and didn't attempt a 3 in five of their last six games, but he's only shooting 23% on the season, so...whatcha gonna do? He can't stretch the floor, which is a necessity, and it's also a big part of what limits him from moving up this list.
Last week's rank: 4
2. De'Andre Hunter
De'Andre Hunter is a solid player. Scoring isn't everything, but he can score a few points here and there, which makes him more valuable than his teammate above. He dropped 23 in a close loss to the Cavs (yikes), and he's not afraid to shoot the ball - he's hitting just over 33% from deep. It's a little tough to tell which is the anomaly though, as Hunter shot 39% on threes in their first 16 games and is 29% over the last 14. If he returns to form - and that's a big if at this point - he could find himself near the top of the rankings for the entire season.
Who could've predicted that??
I'll tell you - the DeAnd'Rankins are a fickle beast. The Committee has a lot on their plates.
Last week's rank: 2
1. DeAndre Jordan
Never in a million years did the Committee expect to see DeAndre Jordan topping the rankings for the fourth consecutive week. Truly, this is as unexpected as waking up with your hair sewn to the carpet.
But he deserves it! DJ turned back the clock with a 12 point, 20 rebound, 6 assist performance against the other DeAndres in Atlanta on Monday. That wasn't a typo - 12 points and 20 rebounds. He was a +12 in a game that the Nets won by 10. He may not be living up to the near-max contract that he turned down a few years ago, but DeAndre Jordan is having a terrific little season. And I'm sure the contract-losses will be more than made up for when the Nets give him a multi-million dollar bonus for winning the DeAnd'Rankings - something he'll do if he keeps this up.
Last week's rank: 1
CURRENT SEASON STANDINGS AFTER VOLUME IV
4. Deandre Ayton: 5 points
3. DeAndre' Bembry: 7 points
2. De'Andre Hunter: 12 points
1. DeAndre Jordan: 16 points
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